1-minute comedic monologue
Same Time Next Month
A free 1-minute comedic monologue about trying to leave a hairdresser of eleven years while she's holding the scissors. Great for auditions.
- Difficulty
- Beginner
- Length
- 141 words · ~56 sec
- Skills
- comic timing, status shifts, imagined scene partner
- License
- CC BY 4.0
The script
Denise, before you start, can I say something? No, the length's fine. It's always fine. That's sort of the thing.
You've been cutting my hair for eleven years. You came to my wedding. You know my blood type, somehow. And I have loved every single one of those haircuts.
But my cousin just opened a salon near my office, and she's offering me family pricing, and family is... family. So I think, starting next month, I'm going to...
(she picks up the scissors)That's a very big pair of scissors. Are those new?
No, nothing's wrong. I was just going to say I'm going to... try... something different. With the bangs. Maybe.
(the turn, giving up completely)You know what, forget I said anything. Shorter on the sides, same as always. And Denise? Put me down for the second Tuesday. And the one after that. Actually, just book me through June.
Script by SceneDub (scenedub.com), CC BY 4.0. Original script drafted with AI assistance and edited by SceneDub; any resemblance to existing characters is coincidental.
Practise it now
The teleprompter scrolls at the speed you set in words per minute. Tick "Record audio while reading" to capture a take; the audio stays in your browser until you download it.
Coaching notes
- Open with real resolve. 'Can I say something?' should sound like you rehearsed this in the car, so the collapse later has somewhere to fall from.
- 'That's a very big pair of scissors. Are those new?' is where the plan dies. Let your eyes follow the scissors and your pitch climb half a step.
- Book the appointments faster and faster at the end. 'Just book me through June' is total surrender, delivered as if it was your idea all along.
Try it three more ways
- Play it as someone who has never once disappointed anyone and is physically unable to start now.
- Read it with Denise clearly hurt from the first line, so you're backpedaling the whole way.
- Try it as a smooth talker who thinks they're handling this beautifully, right up until the scissors.
Take it further
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Frequently asked questions
How long is the "Same Time Next Month" script?
141 spoken words, about 56 sec at a conversational 150 words per minute and 1 min 5 sec at a slower 130 wpm. Your take will vary with pauses and character choices.
Can I use this script in my voice acting demo reel?
Yes. SceneDub's original scripts are licensed CC BY 4.0. You can perform, record, edit, and publish them, including in demo reels, classes, and auditions, as long as you credit "Script by SceneDub (scenedub.com), CC BY 4.0" where you share the recording or the text.
How should I practise this script?
Read it silently once, then perform it with the direction above: nervous politeness that slowly collapses, steady at first, then quicker as the nerve runs out. Record a take with the teleprompter, listen back, and try one of the alternate reads to stretch your range.