Podcast Intro Script · Podcast intro and outro
Objectively Wrong (Comedy Podcast Intro and Outro)
A comedy podcast intro script with a matching outro: a host opens the show alone, arguing about party etiquette while his co-host runs late.
- Difficulty
- Advanced
- Length
- 107 words · ~43 sec
- Skills
- comic timing, deadpan delivery, conversational read
- License
- CC BY 4.0
The script
(Intro)Welcome back to Objectively Wrong, the only podcast brave enough to ask the questions that absolutely do not matter. I'm Dev. My co-host Rosie is running late, which is fitting, because today's debate is: is it rude to show up exactly on time to a party?
I say no. Rosie says it's 'aggressive.' We have a panel of zero experts and one very confused cat. Let's settle this.
(Outro)And that's the show. Rosie did eventually arrive, forty minutes late, holding a smoothie, which proves my point. Send us your pettiest debates and we'll get them wrong for you. I'm Dev. Rosie is somewhere. See you next week.
Script by SceneDub (scenedub.com), CC BY 4.0. Original script drafted with AI assistance and edited by SceneDub; any resemblance to existing characters is coincidental.
Practise it now
The teleprompter scrolls at the speed you set in words per minute. Tick "Record audio while reading" to capture a take; the audio stays in your browser until you download it.
Coaching notes
- Deliver 'the questions that absolutely do not matter' with total sincerity. The joke works best if you sound like you're opening a serious evening news program.
- Let a little sidelong annoyance into 'My co-host Rosie is running late,' then take a beat before 'which is fitting' so the listener catches the irony before you explain it.
- In the outro, 'holding a smoothie' is the punchline. Pause right before it, say it flat, and move straight on to 'which proves my point' as if the evidence is overwhelming.
Try it three more ways
- Read it as Rosie, arriving mid-intro and trying to sound like she was there the whole time.
- Read it as a very dry, deadpan host who never laughs at their own jokes.
- Read it as an overexcited host who is clearly losing the argument and knows it.
Take it further
More scripts to practise
Frequently asked questions
How long is the "Objectively Wrong (Comedy Podcast Intro and Outro)" script?
107 spoken words, about 43 sec at a conversational 150 words per minute and 49 sec at a slower 130 wpm. Your take will vary with pauses and character choices.
Can I use this script in my voice acting demo reel?
Yes. SceneDub's original scripts are licensed CC BY 4.0. You can perform, record, edit, and publish them, including in demo reels, classes, and auditions, as long as you credit "Script by SceneDub (scenedub.com), CC BY 4.0" where you share the recording or the text.
How should I practise this script?
Read it silently once, then perform it with the direction above: mock-serious, playful, a little put-upon, quick with deliberate comic pauses, ~160 words per minute. Record a take with the teleprompter, listen back, and try one of the alternate reads to stretch your range.